Conversation guide for talking about immigration news

Approach the conversation with a calm and open attitude. Thank the person for being willing to have a conversation with you, and resist any urge to assume their view, intent, or level of knowledge. Actively listen in an effort to understand, and not simply to respond or have your own views understood.

Avoid negative language, such as “You don’t understand;” “ You are misinformed on immigration;” “Can’t you see that…” These phrases can tear down lines of communication.

Try to evaluate your own motivations before engaging. Approach the conversation with a goal to engage and connect, not to argue and win. Set the goal of a healthy mutual exchange.

Example: “There has been some news lately about policy changes affecting refugees and people seeking asylum. I’d be curious to know what you’ve heard on that topic.”

Recognize that your experience is not the only valid perspective. Multiple viewpoints can be established and true, and sometimes the root beliefs behind them are more shared than you think.

Avoid conversations with an either/or approach. (“One of us must be “right.”)

Try speaking with an “and/also” perspective.

Example: “Yes, communities do need to ensure they have enough resources in order to support immigrants, and also many immigrants contribute to their local economy through work, taxes, and starting small businesses.”

Start your conversation with shared values. Discuss concepts such as family, hard work, and fairness to create a foundation for a more meaningful conversation. A person's view of a policy or position often springs from their values. By asking open-ended questions, you can learn what values someone else holds and what matters to them. This creates shared respect and helps the other person feel heard, leading the way to meaningful conversations.

Avoid assuming the person is “less moral” or “less kind” because they may disagree with your view on immigration.

Try asking open-ended questions, such as, “How did you come to hold that view?;” “Tell me a little more about why you feel that way;” or “Can you share more about why that value is important to you?”

Example: “I’m hearing you think newcomers are a burden on our communities. Can you tell me more about why you feel that way?”

Choose words that highlight experiences we can all relate to. When discussing immigration, it’s helpful to use words that center on our shared experiences rather than reinforcing divisions.

Avoid using divisive or minimizing language, such as, “Refugees are vulnerable and need us to help them.”

Try reframing the question in a way that emphasizes relatable values and experiences.

Example: “We all want to protect our loved ones and have the ability to live in a secure and safe environment.”

Sharing only facts can be perceived as combative, but sharing personal stories humanizes the issue. For example, talk about a family being reunited after years of separation, a refugee who worked hard to rebuild their life after struggle, or parents working to provide their children with a better future.

Avoid saying, “Statistics show that thousands of refugees need our help.”

Try sharing your personal experience as a Welcomer, discussing stories of newcomers from balanced news sources, or highlighting stories from other Welcomers.

Example: “I read this article about a Ukrainian newcomer’s journey to the U.S. With the support of a sponsor, he came here through the Uniting for Ukraine humanitarian parole program and found a job to support his family. But when the government ended the program, he lost his right to work, and now he fears having to return to Ukraine with his three children. I know that the Uniting for Ukraine program is temporary, but it doesn’t make sense to me that we wouldn’t allow newcomers to work, or that we’d send thousands of families back to a war zone. What do you see as a fair resolution for these families?

• You don’t need to be an expert on immigration to share your heart for welcoming newcomers. If you don’t know the answer to their question, that’s okay. It may even be a question you’ve struggled to answer for yourself. You can acknowledge that they asked a great question and thank them for it.
• Instead of guessing at an answer, suggest that you look into their question together as more details emerge, or find an event or webinar you can join together that provides you both with clarity and information. Remember: the goal is not to win an argument with facts, but to connect over a topic that’s important to you.

If the person you’re talking with brings up news or statistics that contradict what you’ve heard, suggest looking into some more sources together. Treat unfamiliar information as an opportunity to learn rather than something to immediately accept or reject. You may find it helpful to better understand an event or policy by examining how it’s covered in multiple sources. Allsides.com is a good resource for identifying balanced news and media biases by topic.

• Avoid contesting their claim with one of your own. Instead, use this as an opportunity to learn together.
• You could say, “This is new information for me. Do you remember the source? I’d like to read it before forming an opinion.”

Bonus tip: It’s also a good idea to keep in mind that two things can be true, even if they seem contradictory at face value. As a Welcomer, it’s important to hold space for nuance. When you do, you’ll give the person you’re talking with confidence that you’re providing a safe space to discuss complex issues.

• Staying grounded in your goal for the conversation and in your care for the person you’re speaking with helps keep the conversation respectful and productive, even when emotions rise. If you feel yourself getting anxious, pause before responding.
• Give yourself permission to step back, pause, or revisit the conversation later. If you sense that the person you’re talking with is intentionally instigating or pressing your buttons, they may not be the right person to confide in right now—and that’s okay.
• Try gently ending the conversation by saying, "I'm glad we are both passionate about this topic. Let's take a break for now and consider revisiting it at another time."

See our 5 tips for managing mental health during times of uncertainty to learn more.