5 tips to hold meaningful conversations with newcomers
As policy changes increasingly affect newcomers in our communities, many Welcomers are thoughtfully considering how to be present and supportive. How can we check in with sensitivity and compassion? How do we offer support without making assumptions about others’ needs? Which questions are helpful to ask and which might be best avoided?
During times of uncertainty, it’s natural to hesitate or worry about saying the wrong thing. Yet these moments are when connection matters most. Small, genuine gestures can remind newcomers that they are seen, valued, and not alone as they navigate a deeply challenging environment.
This resource offers five practical tips to engage in meaningful conversations with newcomers.
Practical tips
1. Offer a word of encouragement
Try: Letting your new neighbors know you care, that they belong here, and that you’re here for them.
- A simple expression of care can go a long way. Let newcomers know you’re aware of policies affecting them and that you’re available to listen or help if needed.
- Example: “I’ve seen some concerning headlines about new policies affecting newcomers. I’m thankful to have you as friends and neighbors.”
Avoid: Asking if or how their status is affected by policy changes.
- You don’t need to ask about immigration status or offer legal advice—just be a good neighbor, and listen if they want to talk. If a newcomer does ask for legal help, you can always share the American Immigration Lawyers Association search tool.
2. Break the ice with a simple gesture
Try: Dropping off homemade baked goods or your favorite treat.
- Food can be a powerful connector and a gentle way to express care. A small, thoughtful offering can help break the ice and communicate welcome without requiring a long conversation.
Avoid: Assuming they will give you a gift in return or invite you inside.
- Cultural norms on giving and receiving gifts can vary, and brief interactions are normal.
3. Create opportunities for low-pressure engagement
Try: Inviting newcomers to an event or a meal together.
- Gathering around a table or attending an event together can make conversation more natural. It may be as informal as inviting a newcomer family to something that you enjoy, like a picnic at a local park or an annual community event.
- See our recipes that welcome for inspiration.
Avoid: Assuming your new neighbors aren’t interested in friendship.
- Your new neighbors have left their homes and are restarting their lives in a new place. Don’t assume they’ll reject your efforts to reach out. And if they don’t accept your invitation, don’t take it personally. It simply might not be the right time for them. Knowing that you are thinking about them can mean a lot.
4. Offer open-ended conversation while respecting boundaries
Try: Leading with an open invitation to chat.
- Invite conversation, but let newcomers share at their own pace. Especially early on, some people may prefer to listen rather than talk, or to keep personal details private.
- Example: “I’ve lived in this neighborhood for about five years and love the local library. If you ever want recommendations, let me know.” This opens the door without requiring them to share anything in return.
Avoid: Making assumptions about the newcomer’s willingness to talk about their background or answer personal questions.
5. Build trust by respecting their pace
Try: Following their lead in the conversation.
- Every newcomer’s adjustment journey looks different. Some may welcome frequent check-ins, while others may need more time and space. Paying attention to cues and adjusting accordingly can help build trust.
- Example: If someone responds warmly but briefly to messages or invitations, consider letting more time pass between check-ins and keep them light.
Avoid: Interpreting distance or quiet as disinterest.
- Adjusting to a new culture can be challenging. If a newcomer is less responsive, it doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate your care. It simply may mean they’re navigating a lot at once.
