5 tips for talking about topics on immigration

Humanitarian parole is one of many immigration topics making recent headlines. This safe and legal pathway to the United States offers temporary refuge to those fleeing urgent crises. Talking about parole and other immigration issues may feel daunting or polarizing, and it can be a challenge to know where to start. Headlines may emphasize a split nation, but with Americans from all 50 states invested in sponsorship, we see a more nuanced view.

How can you start a constructive conversation on these topics? Here are five tips on holding a meaningful dialogue with friends and family.

1. Start with the right posture and a hopeful mindset

Approach the conversation with a calm and open attitude. Thank the person for being willing to have a conversation with you, and resist any urge to assume their view, intent, or level of knowledge. Actively listen in an effort to understand, and not simply to respond or have your own views understood.

Avoid negative language, such as “You don’t understand’; “ You are misinformed on immigration”; “Can’t you see that…” These phrases can tear down lines of communication.

Try to evaluate your own motivations before engaging. Approach the conversation with a goal to engage and connect—not to argue and win. Set the mutual goal of a healthy exchange.

2. Embrace the nuance and tension caused by different view points

Recognize that your experience is not the only valid story. At times, we may interrupt or assign meaning to different aspects of our shared reality. Recognize that multiple viewpoints can be established and true.

Avoid conversations with an “either/or” approach.

Try speaking with an “and/also” perspective.

3. Be curious and listen to learn

Start your conversation with shared values. Discuss concepts such as family, hard work, and fairness to create a foundation for a more meaningful conversation. A person's view of a policy or position often springs from their values. By asking open-ended questions, you can learn what values someone else holds and what matters to them. This creates shared respect and helps the other person feel heard, leading the way to meaningful conversations.

Avoid assuming the person is “less moral” or “less kind” because they may disagree with your view on immigration.

Try asking open-ended questions, such as “How did you come to hold that view?”; “Tell me a little more about why you feel that way?”; “Can you share more about why that value is important to you?”

4. Use language that emphasizes our shared humanity

Choose words that highlight our common experiences as humans. When discussing immigration, it’s important to use words that center on our shared experiences rather than reinforcing divisions. By choosing inclusive and empathetic language, we can foster more constructive conversations.

Avoid saying,“We need to help them.”

Try reframing the question as, “We all deserve safety and security.”

5. Share stories and personal experience

Sharing only facts can be perceived as combative, but sharing personal stories humanizes the issue. For example, talk about a family being reunited after years of separation, a refugee who worked hard to rebuild their life after struggle, or parents working to provide their children with a better future. Share your personal experience as a Welcomer or sponsor, or highlight stories from other Welcomers.

Avoid saying, “Statistics show that thousands of refugees need our help.”

Try saying, “Refugee families have to sacrifice so much in search of stability. After they’re welcomed, they have the opportunity to rebuild their lives and give back to their communities.” Here you can provide personal stories or share the experiences of other welcomers.

Taking time to navigate complicated conversations helps us to better understand each other's viewpoints. Share these tips with other friends or family members who might be open to having these important conversations.